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apparently I'm / supposed to write a clever / comment here. OH WELL.

2 notes

sundowntheatre:

This lizard loves ice cream.
You know what else lizards love? Doritos. 
How do I know this? Well, bradmcentire told me.  But you can also come to our Short Works Festival to see for yourself. Aug. 11th through 13th at Margo Jones in Dallas and Aug. 16th and 17th at Greenspace Arts Collective in Denton.
Oh we also have (The Winter’s Tale) auditions tomorrow night! Also at Greenspace. 
But seriously, this lizard…


THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING GIF AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE LIZARDS. LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE IT IS IN ITS HAT.(oh yeah and do Sundown stuff because we’re fucking awesome)

sundowntheatre:

This lizard loves ice cream.

You know what else lizards love? Doritos. 

How do I know this? Well, bradmcentire told me.  But you can also come to our Short Works Festival to see for yourself. Aug. 11th through 13th at Margo Jones in Dallas and Aug. 16th and 17th at Greenspace Arts Collective in Denton.

Oh we also have (The Winter’s Tale) auditions tomorrow night! Also at Greenspace. 

But seriously, this lizard…

THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING GIF AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE LIZARDS. LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE IT IS IN ITS HAT.
(oh yeah and do Sundown stuff because we’re fucking awesome)

3 notes

Today I had to stay home from work because my period cramps were so bad I couldn’t get out of bed. I bled through 4 tampons in 2 1/2 hours. This happens about every 6 months, where my bloodbaby pain is too much for me to even get up for a desk job. The other months I’m able to push through the intense abdominal pain that makes sitting in a desk chair akin to having tiny monsters kicking at your belly button and tailbone.

And I thought about what would happen if men had periods, and how birth control would be more easily acceptable (BECAUSE IT ASSUAGES MENSTRUAL PAIN AS WELL AS PREVENTS BABIES) and Midol would have fucking morphine in it and there would be a mandatory day off once a month for your MANstrual pain. 

And THEN I thought about how menstrual pain is exacerbated if you’re actually PREGNANT plus you usually POOP YOURSELF when you have a baby and that birth is essentially shoving a watermelon out of the size of a keyhole. 

Basically, I want to rage at men for not having periods or birthing babies today because everything hurts and WE SHOULD GET A DAY OFF ONCE A MONTH. C’MON. To paraphrase South Park, we bleed profusely for 4-7 days and STILL LIVE. THAT DESERVES A VACATION DAY GODDAMMIT.

Filed under bloodbaby menstruation someone bring me 17 sausage biscuits and some beef jerky

574 notes

cardcarryingcynic asked: Today I got this gem from a guy on tinder: "Wanna know how I'm like a Malaysian Airlines flight? Because I'd go down on you"

straightwhiteboystexting:

NO NO NO NON NONONONONONOONONONO

141,285 notes

colorado-wannabe:

So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels, and the kid next to me just casually says “I can’t draw hands.”

(Source: beauti-fully-awkward, via mandytakesatumbl)